Saturday Bike Ride

This past Saturday the weather cleared enough in the morning for us to a short bike ride.  W is in Colorado so he missed it, but I went with M and her sister and a friend of her sisters to ride back at City Island.  I did promise M that I would walk my bike up the steep ramps along front street (just in case - after all this was the site of where I broke my ankle the last time I was on my bike back in January.)  The weather was nice, although the wind was strong toward the end.  I did 7.9 miles, actually closer to 8, since the odometer rolled over while I moved my bike around before putting it back on the rack to head home.  So I think I did pretty good. 

M & the rest did a lot more than I did.  There was a crowd at City Island so they opted to take the regular bridge (with the cars) instead of the walking bridge.  I wanted to take it easy while I got over the fear of falling off my bike so I decided to just ride around the Island a bit and by the time I did that the walking bridge traffic cleared so I went across that.  I met back up with the others briefly but found I had trouble keeping up.  So let them go on without me and took my time.  I met back up with them later.  I know the last 3 miles or so were tough.  My muscles really felt it.  And my left knee.  In spite of getting another injection last week.  M was concerned and hung back to make sure I made it back to across the walking bridge because she figured I had to be tired.   I am very lucky to have someone like M in my life.  I'm sure I don't tell her that enough.

Riding felt good.  I had a little trouble starting off - feeling a bit wobbly (ok a lot wobbly).  I had a couple moments of panic trying to push off and or stop when I didn't have the strength in my left leg to get the bike going and was wobbling along with the voices in my head saying "don't fall... don't fall... you going to break something again if you fall..." So getting past the fear was kind of a big thing.  I hate being afraid.  I don't like being afraid of anything.  Sometimes I look back and think what happened to the younger me.  The one that wasn't afraid, and the one whose body hadn't yet started to betray her.  I could run, jump, climb, even crawl.  I played sports, and didn't have to think ahead as to where I was walking, watch my balance (I wobble walking sometimes too - not just on a bike).  I can't squat down, my knees can't deal with it.  I have trouble kneeling and/or crawling on my knees for the same reason.  Run? forget it! And now since falling off the bike a couple times and breaking my ankle the last time, a part of me knows that fear is something real, not just in my head.  I do need to watch out, and think ahead and be careful, and try not to fall.  So the fear is there, and it has grown.  Bah!

M & I are planning a trip in July to Ohiopyle.  We will take W with us, JJ is going to house/dog/cat sit for us.  We are taking the bikes, and will ride some of the rail trails in the area.  I'm excited about the trip.  I'm hoping I'll be up to do the trails and will be able to keep up.  I am a little nervous about the surgery this Thursday and how quickly I'll be able to recover.  Mainly I'm worried that my weaker left will be able to handle doing all the work for a few days - going up/down stairs when I get home from the surgery, etc.  I'll just have to tough it out I guess.  M also wants to go white water rafting while we are at Ohiopyle.  I went once years ago (over 30 yrs I think). I think it will be fun, but I'm nervous about that too.  She wants to do the upper yough which is the toughest.  I am being nervous Nelly and think of all that could go wrong.  I miss the me that was adventurous and unafraid.  And most of all strong and pain free.