Brain injury causes man to play piano

I came across this clip, and found it interesting.  This guy, David Amato, was playing around with friends and had a near fatal concussion from hitting his head in a pool.  Before the accident he had never played the piano.

The mind is an amazing thing.

mad cow... tedious number crunching.... PC means more than politically correct..

We were in Germany (West Germany, before the wall came down) for almost 3 yrs. Long enough that I can't donate blood if I wanted to. Something about possibly being exposed to mad cow. Lovely. So, in 1985, my daughter J was born, and it was time to come home.  Back to the states.  As I mentioned, the marriage didn't last, so that was over about the same time. That is it's own long story, and sounds to much like one of the movies of the week to be believable, so I won't go into it for now.

So... it was then time to come back to the states. Now I'm a single mom, and art doesn't pay that well.

My parents generously allowed my daughter (8 mos old) and I to go back home and live with them so I could go back to college. This time round, I gave up on the art idea. I decided I was still interested in the computers, but wanted to ditch the science so switched to computer information systems, which is more the business side of computers. A lot of  the credits I took before transferred. And I discovered that with just adding a couple more courses I could get a double major in CIS and Accounting. Before graduating I got a job with a regional accounting firm, and was offered a full time job there after graduating. One thing led to another and I got my CPA (certified public accountant).

Career #2. I also got to wear the additional hat of being the network administrator at our firm, so got to do both accounting and computers. Quite honestly I didn't really enjoy the accounting side of things.  tedious work. often boring.  Number crunching... audits... balancing books.... taxes.... None of that really interested me.


Flash forward almost another 10 years, and once again I end up planning to move because of love. My daughter is now 9 and we move 1000 miles away without a job.  Oh, I had looked, and even had one decent offer from another accounting firm but just prior to finalizing the move, the accounting firm was bought out by another firm and my new position no longer existed and the guy that had offered it to me was also out of a job. Go figure. I think it was a blessing in disguise.  Did I mention that I found accounting boring?

I took a chance on love, and luck, and packed up and moved. Went from living in a small town where everyone knows your business located in the midst of the bible belt, where I had my folks nearby to help with my daughter to a town where all I really knew was my gf. Sound scary? It was a little. It was also freedom. Freedom to be more of who I am, and not have to worry or feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

My brother says I'm lucky. That he would never have the guts to do some of the things I've done. Things always have a way of working out. And they did.

So I moved without a job, to live with my gf.  I had my car and a little bit of savings.  My gf was paying the bills, she owned her home, and we weren't that much extra expense.  And I set out to find a job.  I couldn't find anything in the accounting world, but I did find something in computers. So I took a job working at a local computer shop. Started out doing PC and printer repair and occasionally working on servers. I guess this was was the beginning of career #3.  I didn't make a lot. It was a big pay cut going from a CPA to a computer tech, but I enjoyed it. The company liked me. Liked me enough that when I went to them asking if I could take about 6 months leave of absence (without pay) they agreed to hold my job for me when I came back.

As I mentioned in a prior post, I took an almost 6 mos break from working back in 96 in order to travel the US in an RV with my daughter and my gf. My gf was taking a sabbatical from her teaching job, and we went along for the ride. We home-schooled my daughter, and I think it was one of the most awesome experiences either one of us could have. How many people can say they spent 5 months or more travelling the country? That wasn't a career, but it was certainly experience. I was telling someone about it recently and they made the comment about how you must really have to love someone to travel 5 months in an RV with them. Well, yeah. Actually, the relationship didn't last. Perhaps that was part of it. Although it was on the rocks before we left on the trip.  We went more as friends than as lovers. And if I had it to do all over, of course I would.

Art where for art tho? what happened?

My first real career was in art. ...

To continue my earlier post regarding going nowhere, The next thing I was good at was art. I could draw. I started college as an art major.  I was good at drawing/painting. I was also interested in computers but this was before PC's existed so it was a different world. I wanted to find out how to get involved in a career doing some sort of computer animation. My college had no clue what to do with me, but for a while I was a dual major Art & Computer Science. yeah OK whatever. It didn't really mean anything back then.

So I thought I really liked art better than the computer science.  Especially the science bit. To my dad's horror (he was a biology professor) I wasn't that good at science, and I really wasn't that interested in learning Latin names for everything, and physics kicked my butt.  Strange because I aced calculus without trying... but I digress. I was good, no great at art. However, I almost flunked out of a life drawing class because my drawings were too realistic. I got a D in the class.  My teacher said that photo realism was out, and that I needed to learn to be more abstract.  Not sure what that has to do with life drawing, but it was a life lesson. LOL.
Not long after that I fell in love. as M would say now, I was young and dumb. He was in the military and got orders for Germany. So obviously, young love's response was that oh no, we can't be separated for a year or so, so our answer was that we must hurry and marry and then I can go along.  Well, the marriage didn't last, told you I was young and dumb. But I won't complain too much about it. I had an incredible opportunity and experience getting to see West Germany, parts of Europe, and my daughter was born over there.  Other thing I did over there was that I got a job as a head of a graphics art department for an army club system. I designed flyers and posters and put out a monthly magazine. I got to be an artist. The job required a college degree that I didn't have. But I was the most qualified applicant. At least I had gone to college, and they liked my portfolio.  I also did free lance painting - commission work.  I painted several murals around town, in some of the barracks. Big huge murals on walls. Also did some smaller framed commission work. Even won an award from the army divisional commander. So my first real career was as an Artist (luckily for me, it paid well, so I was not a starving artist either).

I don't know what happened to the artist me. I haven't touched a paint brush (house painting doesn't count). I haven't picked up a charcoal pencil or done a pen and ink.  My favorite mediums were pen & ink and colored charcoals, and a mix of the two. But I haven't drawn anything in years. The artist me got lost over the years much like the musician me. But I don't have the excuse that I have when I say I can't make music if I wanted. I could still draw or paint if I really wanted. So what happened? Sometimes I think that aspect of myself is somehow tied to much with who I was back then. I don't want to go back and revisit that time. I have some of my old drawings and paintings. For the most part they are stored away. I've thought of getting them out. But then that always leads to questions. Did you do these? Really? oh but you have so much talent... why aren't you doing something with it? why did you stop? And I don't have those answers. I don't know why I stopped. And I don't know what to say.

exclusive retirement homes - not welcome

I was going to continue my post from yesterday, and I might still get back to that at some point.  But one nice thing about not having a "readership" or following, I can skip around and let my thoughts go wherever they want, and no one complains that they had trouble following.

I read a post this morning on someone else's blog about retirement homes. And it reminded me of something. Back in 96 I spent almost 6 months travelling the US in an RV (more on that story would have been in installment 4 or 5 if I'd continued on with yesterday's post). One of the places we visited was in Arizona. I forget the exact name, but near Phoenix.  As we were travelling we would research and stay at various campgrounds, and my then partner found this lesbian only campground/trailer park that was set up for retired women only space.  There was a fairly large population staying at this park, and there was another women only park just down the road.  Both had similar rules and restrictions. The premise was this was a space where women could live in a RV community, park their RV or in some cases a mobile home or a park model, during their retirement years.  The place was women only, men were not welcome on the grounds.  Even children were frowned upon and only allowed during certain "daylight" hours, and could not be out running around even then without being with an adult. They had organized dances, and card games, and other community events. While we were there they were having one of their dances and the park down the street was hosting the dance.
I found the place disturbing. Partly because we were there with my daughter who was 10 at the time. Partly because it was so exclusive. My partner thought the place was great. And would have even considered buying into it except for the fact they didn't allow men visitors at all, and she was very close to her brother, not to mention all the neices/nephews that her sisters and brother had.  I think she was ok with the idea of restricting access if it didn't have to apply to her.
The one highlight/memory I have of visiting that place was meeting the woman who was living in the RV next door to our site.  Her name was Elaine Mikels, she was in her mid-70's, and an amazing interesting woman. She had just recently written a book about her part in the events during stonewall.  Both my partner & I ended up getting a version of her book (she had two different editions) and having her sign them.  At that time she was splitting her time between this place and Sante Fe NM.  She seemed to prefer Sante Fe.  She was also opposed to some of the more extreme views and rules/restrictions that were in place there at the campground.  For example she thought it was a mistake to restrict access to both men & children.  Children she felt are our future.
Some things I think are great to participate in a "lesbian or GLBT" space/atmosphere. But I wouldn't want to live year round in a place that was so restrictive.  I have enjoyed vacationing places where gays are openly welcomed. Where it is ok to walk down the street holding hands, or to kiss your lover without fear. But then again those places do not exclude anyone. Other than maybe bigots.  And I'm not sure they are excluded as much as that isn't any place they want to go or would feel comfortable at.  I remember several years back talking about a vacation I was planning to P-town (Provincetown, MA) with some coworkers.  One of them made a comment warning me that there were a lot of "lesbians & gays" there and to watch out. Obviously he didn't realize he was talking to one. LOL

going nowhere

I have a job. A very good, well paying job. I work as a network engineer, managing/designing/maintaining computer networks. No, I don't work with computers, or users, or printers, etc.  I work on the network. The routers, switches, firewalls. I work for retail. So next time you are in a store somewhere and the clerks are complaining the network is down, or slow, then someone like me has probably been called to work on the issue. Much of the time when it is stores that are down, there is a telecom vendor involved, and data links or the WAN is down, and it is up to the vendor to resolve.

I also work on VOIP systems.  We have our own customer call center (to support outside customers), and a help desk call center (which supports users at stores, or corporate, which supports internal customers).  The help desk escalates issues to my team if the issues are network related and the help desk can't resolve.  VOIP technology puts the phones on the network, and merges both the world of computer technology and regular telephone technology.  Our telecom group is new to that whole idea. So I work with them because I have background in it.

I'm a key employee, and have lots of specialized knowledge and experience. Sometimes I think I know lots about a lot of things, but not about any one thing.  However, while it might sound conceited, I know a lot more about most of the things I do than anyone else here. I also think that I've gone as far as I can career-wise.  I am not a manager, or supervisor. I am a team lead and have people under me, but they are not direct reports. I'm not even sure I would want to be in management. Management can be so political and such a bureaucracy. I think I prefer to work on things and solve problems and design things.  I'm not sure I would be able to do all of that and be effective in management. I'm also pretty sure I wouldn't even like being in management.

I'm thinking about some of these things because a good friend/coworker was just promoted to manager of her dept.  She was a lead much as I am, only with the DBA team. Her manager will be leaving, so they offered her the position. I don't see that sort of thing being an option in my team. I am fairly certain that my boss is going nowhere, and neither is his boss. Also another good friend recently took a new job within her company and is now a manager of her division. She talks about how she likes, no loves her new job. I like my job, but I don't love my job. I used to love my job when I worked for the company prior to this one. But it was privately owned, and the family decided to sell it off, resulting in a lot of people including me being laid off. It wasn't as bad as it sounds, I got a decent severance and a key employee bonus to stick around until the company dissolved. I was lucky to find this job, and have a smooth transition from one to the other without being without a job in the middle. But this time it is just a job. Not a job that I love.

So am I going nowhere? I guess I'm trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. I've re-invented myself several times in this life. When I was young, I taught music lessons for decent money, that and did some baby-sitting. Teaching banjo lessons was a lot more lucrative than any other job for a 14 yr old - I made $25 for 1/2 hr session. I was good at playing/singing. Not great, but good. Banjo, guitar. I had fun with it. I also took piano lessons for several years and could play that. Now (for some years now) I can't play.  My brain can't process reading music anymore.  I can read it, but it is like translating a foreign language, into another language and then from there into a 3rd. that's the best I can explain it. I can look at the music and think about it then, tell you what the note is (a,b,c,d,e,f,g etc), then look at it and figure out the rhythm. but to put it all together? Even when I was young I played much better by ear than sight reading. As for pickin' a banjo, or guitar, my hands wouldn't cooperate now if I remembered what to do. My fuzzy fingers on my right hand would complain if I had to play for very long, and I'm not sure I could work my fingers to pick the way I used to, or even do the cords with my left hand. As for the piano, I lost all memory of how to read/play the bass hand. I can pick out a melody with my right, but to put the two together? forget it. I think it maybe partly MS related. Or maybe it is just result of some other brain injury from the past. I still love music though. And I can still sing. J & I sing together in a local womyns chorus. Music is something I've always felt close to, not that I ever would have been good enough to really make any money at it.

My first real career was in art...