We were in Germany (West Germany, before the wall came down) for almost 3 yrs. Long enough that I can't donate blood if I wanted to. Something about possibly being exposed to mad cow. Lovely. So, in 1985, my daughter J was born, and it was time to come home. Back to the states. As I mentioned, the marriage didn't last, so that was over about the same time. That is it's own long story, and sounds to much like one of the movies of the week to be believable, so I won't go into it for now.
So... it was then time to come back to the states. Now I'm a single mom, and art doesn't pay that well.
My parents generously allowed my daughter (8 mos old) and I to go back home and live with them so I could go back to college. This time round, I gave up on the art idea. I decided I was still interested in the computers, but wanted to ditch the science so switched to computer information systems, which is more the business side of computers. A lot of the credits I took before transferred. And I discovered that with just adding a couple more courses I could get a double major in CIS and Accounting. Before graduating I got a job with a regional accounting firm, and was offered a full time job there after graduating. One thing led to another and I got my CPA (certified public accountant).
Career #2. I also got to wear the additional hat of being the network administrator at our firm, so got to do both accounting and computers. Quite honestly I didn't really enjoy the accounting side of things. tedious work. often boring. Number crunching... audits... balancing books.... taxes.... None of that really interested me.
Flash forward almost another 10 years, and once again I end up planning to move because of love. My daughter is now 9 and we move 1000 miles away without a job. Oh, I had looked, and even had one decent offer from another accounting firm but just prior to finalizing the move, the accounting firm was bought out by another firm and my new position no longer existed and the guy that had offered it to me was also out of a job. Go figure. I think it was a blessing in disguise. Did I mention that I found accounting boring?
I took a chance on love, and luck, and packed up and moved. Went from living in a small town where everyone knows your business located in the midst of the bible belt, where I had my folks nearby to help with my daughter to a town where all I really knew was my gf. Sound scary? It was a little. It was also freedom. Freedom to be more of who I am, and not have to worry or feel uncomfortable in my own skin.
My brother says I'm lucky. That he would never have the guts to do some of the things I've done. Things always have a way of working out. And they did.
So I moved without a job, to live with my gf. I had my car and a little bit of savings. My gf was paying the bills, she owned her home, and we weren't that much extra expense. And I set out to find a job. I couldn't find anything in the accounting world, but I did find something in computers. So I took a job working at a local computer shop. Started out doing PC and printer repair and occasionally working on servers. I guess this was was the beginning of career #3. I didn't make a lot. It was a big pay cut going from a CPA to a computer tech, but I enjoyed it. The company liked me. Liked me enough that when I went to them asking if I could take about 6 months leave of absence (without pay) they agreed to hold my job for me when I came back.
As I mentioned in a prior post, I took an almost 6 mos break from working back in 96 in order to travel the US in an RV with my daughter and my gf. My gf was taking a sabbatical from her teaching job, and we went along for the ride. We home-schooled my daughter, and I think it was one of the most awesome experiences either one of us could have. How many people can say they spent 5 months or more travelling the country? That wasn't a career, but it was certainly experience. I was telling someone about it recently and they made the comment about how you must really have to love someone to travel 5 months in an RV with them. Well, yeah. Actually, the relationship didn't last. Perhaps that was part of it. Although it was on the rocks before we left on the trip. We went more as friends than as lovers. And if I had it to do all over, of course I would.
Showing posts with label past history. Show all posts
Showing posts with label past history. Show all posts
Monday, February 21, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Art where for art tho? what happened?
My first real career was in art. ...
To continue my earlier post regarding going nowhere, The next thing I was good at was art. I could draw. I started college as an art major. I was good at drawing/painting. I was also interested in computers but this was before PC's existed so it was a different world. I wanted to find out how to get involved in a career doing some sort of computer animation. My college had no clue what to do with me, but for a while I was a dual major Art & Computer Science. yeah OK whatever. It didn't really mean anything back then.
So I thought I really liked art better than the computer science. Especially the science bit. To my dad's horror (he was a biology professor) I wasn't that good at science, and I really wasn't that interested in learning Latin names for everything, and physics kicked my butt. Strange because I aced calculus without trying... but I digress. I was good, no great at art. However, I almost flunked out of a life drawing class because my drawings were too realistic. I got a D in the class. My teacher said that photo realism was out, and that I needed to learn to be more abstract. Not sure what that has to do with life drawing, but it was a life lesson. LOL.
Not long after that I fell in love. as M would say now, I was young and dumb. He was in the military and got orders for Germany. So obviously, young love's response was that oh no, we can't be separated for a year or so, so our answer was that we must hurry and marry and then I can go along. Well, the marriage didn't last, told you I was young and dumb. But I won't complain too much about it. I had an incredible opportunity and experience getting to see West Germany, parts of Europe, and my daughter was born over there. Other thing I did over there was that I got a job as a head of a graphics art department for an army club system. I designed flyers and posters and put out a monthly magazine. I got to be an artist. The job required a college degree that I didn't have. But I was the most qualified applicant. At least I had gone to college, and they liked my portfolio. I also did free lance painting - commission work. I painted several murals around town, in some of the barracks. Big huge murals on walls. Also did some smaller framed commission work. Even won an award from the army divisional commander. So my first real career was as an Artist (luckily for me, it paid well, so I was not a starving artist either).
I don't know what happened to the artist me. I haven't touched a paint brush (house painting doesn't count). I haven't picked up a charcoal pencil or done a pen and ink. My favorite mediums were pen & ink and colored charcoals, and a mix of the two. But I haven't drawn anything in years. The artist me got lost over the years much like the musician me. But I don't have the excuse that I have when I say I can't make music if I wanted. I could still draw or paint if I really wanted. So what happened? Sometimes I think that aspect of myself is somehow tied to much with who I was back then. I don't want to go back and revisit that time. I have some of my old drawings and paintings. For the most part they are stored away. I've thought of getting them out. But then that always leads to questions. Did you do these? Really? oh but you have so much talent... why aren't you doing something with it? why did you stop? And I don't have those answers. I don't know why I stopped. And I don't know what to say.
To continue my earlier post regarding going nowhere, The next thing I was good at was art. I could draw. I started college as an art major. I was good at drawing/painting. I was also interested in computers but this was before PC's existed so it was a different world. I wanted to find out how to get involved in a career doing some sort of computer animation. My college had no clue what to do with me, but for a while I was a dual major Art & Computer Science. yeah OK whatever. It didn't really mean anything back then.
So I thought I really liked art better than the computer science. Especially the science bit. To my dad's horror (he was a biology professor) I wasn't that good at science, and I really wasn't that interested in learning Latin names for everything, and physics kicked my butt. Strange because I aced calculus without trying... but I digress. I was good, no great at art. However, I almost flunked out of a life drawing class because my drawings were too realistic. I got a D in the class. My teacher said that photo realism was out, and that I needed to learn to be more abstract. Not sure what that has to do with life drawing, but it was a life lesson. LOL.
Not long after that I fell in love. as M would say now, I was young and dumb. He was in the military and got orders for Germany. So obviously, young love's response was that oh no, we can't be separated for a year or so, so our answer was that we must hurry and marry and then I can go along. Well, the marriage didn't last, told you I was young and dumb. But I won't complain too much about it. I had an incredible opportunity and experience getting to see West Germany, parts of Europe, and my daughter was born over there. Other thing I did over there was that I got a job as a head of a graphics art department for an army club system. I designed flyers and posters and put out a monthly magazine. I got to be an artist. The job required a college degree that I didn't have. But I was the most qualified applicant. At least I had gone to college, and they liked my portfolio. I also did free lance painting - commission work. I painted several murals around town, in some of the barracks. Big huge murals on walls. Also did some smaller framed commission work. Even won an award from the army divisional commander. So my first real career was as an Artist (luckily for me, it paid well, so I was not a starving artist either).
I don't know what happened to the artist me. I haven't touched a paint brush (house painting doesn't count). I haven't picked up a charcoal pencil or done a pen and ink. My favorite mediums were pen & ink and colored charcoals, and a mix of the two. But I haven't drawn anything in years. The artist me got lost over the years much like the musician me. But I don't have the excuse that I have when I say I can't make music if I wanted. I could still draw or paint if I really wanted. So what happened? Sometimes I think that aspect of myself is somehow tied to much with who I was back then. I don't want to go back and revisit that time. I have some of my old drawings and paintings. For the most part they are stored away. I've thought of getting them out. But then that always leads to questions. Did you do these? Really? oh but you have so much talent... why aren't you doing something with it? why did you stop? And I don't have those answers. I don't know why I stopped. And I don't know what to say.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
exclusive retirement homes - not welcome
I was going to continue my post from yesterday, and I might still get back to that at some point. But one nice thing about not having a "readership" or following, I can skip around and let my thoughts go wherever they want, and no one complains that they had trouble following.
I read a post this morning on someone else's blog about retirement homes. And it reminded me of something. Back in 96 I spent almost 6 months travelling the US in an RV (more on that story would have been in installment 4 or 5 if I'd continued on with yesterday's post). One of the places we visited was in Arizona. I forget the exact name, but near Phoenix. As we were travelling we would research and stay at various campgrounds, and my then partner found this lesbian only campground/trailer park that was set up for retired women only space. There was a fairly large population staying at this park, and there was another women only park just down the road. Both had similar rules and restrictions. The premise was this was a space where women could live in a RV community, park their RV or in some cases a mobile home or a park model, during their retirement years. The place was women only, men were not welcome on the grounds. Even children were frowned upon and only allowed during certain "daylight" hours, and could not be out running around even then without being with an adult. They had organized dances, and card games, and other community events. While we were there they were having one of their dances and the park down the street was hosting the dance.
I found the place disturbing. Partly because we were there with my daughter who was 10 at the time. Partly because it was so exclusive. My partner thought the place was great. And would have even considered buying into it except for the fact they didn't allow men visitors at all, and she was very close to her brother, not to mention all the neices/nephews that her sisters and brother had. I think she was ok with the idea of restricting access if it didn't have to apply to her.
The one highlight/memory I have of visiting that place was meeting the woman who was living in the RV next door to our site. Her name was Elaine Mikels, she was in her mid-70's, and an amazing interesting woman. She had just recently written a book about her part in the events during stonewall. Both my partner & I ended up getting a version of her book (she had two different editions) and having her sign them. At that time she was splitting her time between this place and Sante Fe NM. She seemed to prefer Sante Fe. She was also opposed to some of the more extreme views and rules/restrictions that were in place there at the campground. For example she thought it was a mistake to restrict access to both men & children. Children she felt are our future.
Some things I think are great to participate in a "lesbian or GLBT" space/atmosphere. But I wouldn't want to live year round in a place that was so restrictive. I have enjoyed vacationing places where gays are openly welcomed. Where it is ok to walk down the street holding hands, or to kiss your lover without fear. But then again those places do not exclude anyone. Other than maybe bigots. And I'm not sure they are excluded as much as that isn't any place they want to go or would feel comfortable at. I remember several years back talking about a vacation I was planning to P-town (Provincetown, MA) with some coworkers. One of them made a comment warning me that there were a lot of "lesbians & gays" there and to watch out. Obviously he didn't realize he was talking to one. LOL
I read a post this morning on someone else's blog about retirement homes. And it reminded me of something. Back in 96 I spent almost 6 months travelling the US in an RV (more on that story would have been in installment 4 or 5 if I'd continued on with yesterday's post). One of the places we visited was in Arizona. I forget the exact name, but near Phoenix. As we were travelling we would research and stay at various campgrounds, and my then partner found this lesbian only campground/trailer park that was set up for retired women only space. There was a fairly large population staying at this park, and there was another women only park just down the road. Both had similar rules and restrictions. The premise was this was a space where women could live in a RV community, park their RV or in some cases a mobile home or a park model, during their retirement years. The place was women only, men were not welcome on the grounds. Even children were frowned upon and only allowed during certain "daylight" hours, and could not be out running around even then without being with an adult. They had organized dances, and card games, and other community events. While we were there they were having one of their dances and the park down the street was hosting the dance.
I found the place disturbing. Partly because we were there with my daughter who was 10 at the time. Partly because it was so exclusive. My partner thought the place was great. And would have even considered buying into it except for the fact they didn't allow men visitors at all, and she was very close to her brother, not to mention all the neices/nephews that her sisters and brother had. I think she was ok with the idea of restricting access if it didn't have to apply to her.
The one highlight/memory I have of visiting that place was meeting the woman who was living in the RV next door to our site. Her name was Elaine Mikels, she was in her mid-70's, and an amazing interesting woman. She had just recently written a book about her part in the events during stonewall. Both my partner & I ended up getting a version of her book (she had two different editions) and having her sign them. At that time she was splitting her time between this place and Sante Fe NM. She seemed to prefer Sante Fe. She was also opposed to some of the more extreme views and rules/restrictions that were in place there at the campground. For example she thought it was a mistake to restrict access to both men & children. Children she felt are our future.
Some things I think are great to participate in a "lesbian or GLBT" space/atmosphere. But I wouldn't want to live year round in a place that was so restrictive. I have enjoyed vacationing places where gays are openly welcomed. Where it is ok to walk down the street holding hands, or to kiss your lover without fear. But then again those places do not exclude anyone. Other than maybe bigots. And I'm not sure they are excluded as much as that isn't any place they want to go or would feel comfortable at. I remember several years back talking about a vacation I was planning to P-town (Provincetown, MA) with some coworkers. One of them made a comment warning me that there were a lot of "lesbians & gays" there and to watch out. Obviously he didn't realize he was talking to one. LOL
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Anniversary celebrations
I missed celebrating my "MS" anniversary. How could that be? Some people seem to make a big deal of it. Do they send out party invitations? One never knows. I was diagnosed Sept 2009. Started Copaxone on Halloween - 10/31/09. That's an easy date to remember. I'm really bad at remember dates. I can remember my birthday. Major holidays. My daughter's b'day, my partner's b'day. I can remember other family member b'days. So maybe it is anniversaries. But hey, I'm not the only one. M and I first started dating back in 2000. Then we broke up for a while in 2001, and got back together in July of 2002. We moved in together in August of 2003. Exchanged rings in a ceremony in October 2003? But dates? well. at least I'm not alone in not remembering the exact date. Maybe if I was in therapy I might find that there might be a reason for that. lol
Most likely I have had MS a lot longer than a year though. I know if I think back I've had some symptoms etc over the years. Some might be questionable. But I think that the problem that I had back in 2004 with numbness/tingling in my right hand/arm is related. At the time I saw various doctors, ended up with it treated as a workman's comp case. I work on computers - so obvious solution - carpal tunnel. Before I got mixed up with seeing the WC case docs my regular doctor sent me to a nerve specialist who ran some sort of test seeing if the nerve pathways in my arm "worked" Basically he attached some sort of electrodes to various parts of my hand and arm, and sent sound waves, what a weird feeling! He couldn't really find any issues with the paths from my shoulder all the way to my hand. So his results (for carpal tunnel) were inconclusive. Later, after getting moved over to seeing the WC doctors, well, I wasn't just having "tingling" I was having pain. So I was willing to try most anything. They insisted it was carpal tunnel, that having the surgery would "fix it" So... to make a long story short, I had the surgery. I had my doubts at the time. My hand wasn't really numb - its more like sensations are too much - over sensitized. And it wasn't just my fingers, most people have either their thumb, or certain groupings of fingers depending on which nerve is impacted. I had it on my entire hand. And up my arm. No one had a really good explanation of that. So anyway, I had the surgery. Amazingly, it did help. I think that could be coincidence. Or may some of the meds I took helped with the pain, etc and time healed things. Who knows. However, the tingling did come back. It maybe was a month or several, but I now always have a slight tingling in my right hand. Oh, the other reason carpal tunnel isn't so likely is that while most people might end up with it just in their right wrist, being left handed, it is less likely. I use my mouse left handed. I use my left as much or more than my right. So why just in my right? Who knows. The tingling is much like what is in my feet now. My feet are not as bad as they were in the summer of 2009 when I first was going to the doctors to see what's wrong, but sometimes it is worse. Sometimes it flares. I often have the feeling of "balled up socks" that I'm walking around on. The tingling, in my feet, sometimes up my ankles. I haven't had it go all the way up to mid thigh like it did progress in the beginning. So, again I think my right hand was one of the first MS symptoms.
Recently I was reading on another blog regarding the "tingling" and comparing that to white noise. That is a very good analogy. And yeah the white noise feels a lot better than the "noise" that was used during that test. That was like squeals and squelches, sort of like feedback. But I don't find it (the white noise) comforting. It could be worse, yes. Pain is worse.
This was a busy month for Dr visits. First my neurologist - gave me a clean bill for moment, Go back in 6 months. Mentioned at some point will want to "find an excuse" to do a MRI (insurance I guess wants an excuse), in order to check on the lesions in my head. See if they are worse, or active, or ? I don't think go away. I guess I should read more. I also saw the surgeon about the results from my thyroid test - all normal. So guess my body doesn't miss that 1/2 a thyroid - at least not yet. I go back again in 3 months to test again. Saw my regular doc today. got results from the rest of my blood work. My LDL bad cholesterol is still above 100... apparently keeping it under a 100 is the magic number for someone that is borderline diabetic. So I'm to increase my cholesterol pills. Also someone messed up in ordering the tests and didn't order an A1c to test long term blood sugar, and my fasting sugar was up - it normally is, apparently my liver loves to produce insulin overnight whether I need it or not. So she added something else to help with that. I feel like I have to take a pharmacy with me when I travel.
Ate dinner with a good friend the other night. we were talking about how things change over time. She was considering whether she wanted to take a job promotion, or look for another job somewhere else. During the conversation we talked about how insurance benefits play a big role in our decisions now. She had a liver transplant over 20 yrs ago. She is very healthy now, but will be seeing doctors her entire life, and having tests etc to make sure she isn't rejecting the liver. She mentioned how before our conversation she really didn't think about that. And how unlike her that was. She said she always thinks of her health, of medical needs, etc. For her to have been so nonchalant about it, so unlike her. And it is an important part of our decision making, etc. I moved to PA back in 96, left a job that had insurance benefits. Moved with a 11 yr old child. Moved over 1000 miles. Without a job, or a definite future. Sure that it would all work out. It did. Would I do that today? I'd be too afraid. I'm afraid to think about switching jobs today without making sure I can keep insurance coverage. Yeah, there is cobra, but that cost $$. Plus I have to pay a mortgage. Life is different now. Sure, if I had to, I could go or do, and I know that everything would work out. It always does. One way or another. But I won't jump now without making sure there is a net.
Most likely I have had MS a lot longer than a year though. I know if I think back I've had some symptoms etc over the years. Some might be questionable. But I think that the problem that I had back in 2004 with numbness/tingling in my right hand/arm is related. At the time I saw various doctors, ended up with it treated as a workman's comp case. I work on computers - so obvious solution - carpal tunnel. Before I got mixed up with seeing the WC case docs my regular doctor sent me to a nerve specialist who ran some sort of test seeing if the nerve pathways in my arm "worked" Basically he attached some sort of electrodes to various parts of my hand and arm, and sent sound waves, what a weird feeling! He couldn't really find any issues with the paths from my shoulder all the way to my hand. So his results (for carpal tunnel) were inconclusive. Later, after getting moved over to seeing the WC doctors, well, I wasn't just having "tingling" I was having pain. So I was willing to try most anything. They insisted it was carpal tunnel, that having the surgery would "fix it" So... to make a long story short, I had the surgery. I had my doubts at the time. My hand wasn't really numb - its more like sensations are too much - over sensitized. And it wasn't just my fingers, most people have either their thumb, or certain groupings of fingers depending on which nerve is impacted. I had it on my entire hand. And up my arm. No one had a really good explanation of that. So anyway, I had the surgery. Amazingly, it did help. I think that could be coincidence. Or may some of the meds I took helped with the pain, etc and time healed things. Who knows. However, the tingling did come back. It maybe was a month or several, but I now always have a slight tingling in my right hand. Oh, the other reason carpal tunnel isn't so likely is that while most people might end up with it just in their right wrist, being left handed, it is less likely. I use my mouse left handed. I use my left as much or more than my right. So why just in my right? Who knows. The tingling is much like what is in my feet now. My feet are not as bad as they were in the summer of 2009 when I first was going to the doctors to see what's wrong, but sometimes it is worse. Sometimes it flares. I often have the feeling of "balled up socks" that I'm walking around on. The tingling, in my feet, sometimes up my ankles. I haven't had it go all the way up to mid thigh like it did progress in the beginning. So, again I think my right hand was one of the first MS symptoms.
Recently I was reading on another blog regarding the "tingling" and comparing that to white noise. That is a very good analogy. And yeah the white noise feels a lot better than the "noise" that was used during that test. That was like squeals and squelches, sort of like feedback. But I don't find it (the white noise) comforting. It could be worse, yes. Pain is worse.
This was a busy month for Dr visits. First my neurologist - gave me a clean bill for moment, Go back in 6 months. Mentioned at some point will want to "find an excuse" to do a MRI (insurance I guess wants an excuse), in order to check on the lesions in my head. See if they are worse, or active, or ? I don't think go away. I guess I should read more. I also saw the surgeon about the results from my thyroid test - all normal. So guess my body doesn't miss that 1/2 a thyroid - at least not yet. I go back again in 3 months to test again. Saw my regular doc today. got results from the rest of my blood work. My LDL bad cholesterol is still above 100... apparently keeping it under a 100 is the magic number for someone that is borderline diabetic. So I'm to increase my cholesterol pills. Also someone messed up in ordering the tests and didn't order an A1c to test long term blood sugar, and my fasting sugar was up - it normally is, apparently my liver loves to produce insulin overnight whether I need it or not. So she added something else to help with that. I feel like I have to take a pharmacy with me when I travel.
Ate dinner with a good friend the other night. we were talking about how things change over time. She was considering whether she wanted to take a job promotion, or look for another job somewhere else. During the conversation we talked about how insurance benefits play a big role in our decisions now. She had a liver transplant over 20 yrs ago. She is very healthy now, but will be seeing doctors her entire life, and having tests etc to make sure she isn't rejecting the liver. She mentioned how before our conversation she really didn't think about that. And how unlike her that was. She said she always thinks of her health, of medical needs, etc. For her to have been so nonchalant about it, so unlike her. And it is an important part of our decision making, etc. I moved to PA back in 96, left a job that had insurance benefits. Moved with a 11 yr old child. Moved over 1000 miles. Without a job, or a definite future. Sure that it would all work out. It did. Would I do that today? I'd be too afraid. I'm afraid to think about switching jobs today without making sure I can keep insurance coverage. Yeah, there is cobra, but that cost $$. Plus I have to pay a mortgage. Life is different now. Sure, if I had to, I could go or do, and I know that everything would work out. It always does. One way or another. But I won't jump now without making sure there is a net.
Friday, August 27, 2010
the future, predictions, predictability
I posted about being worried because of being denied disability insurance. But for the moment, I feel pretty good. As M told me the other day, she's glad I'm as good as I am. I am sure not going to run any marathons, and some days I limp and hobble along, but that is the bad knees, not the MS. In some ways, the whole MS thing hasn't really hit home. Sure I saw the little white lesions on my brain MRI. Sure, I have had issues with numbness in my feet and legs, some of which will flair back up, I sometimes feel like I walk on a pair of balled up socks under the ball of my feet. But is it really real?
I believe that I still have a long productive road ahead, of work, life, etc. There are a lot things I haven't done yet that I want to do. So, I am stubborn enough, determined enough, to want to do them. Right now, M & I are working towards getting healthier, eating better, getting more physically fit, losing some of the excess weight we have both put on over the past few years. I get frustrated with things that seem to keep jumping in as road blocks - things like breaking my ankle, finding out I have MS, etc. But I'm no quitter.
I have had to learn to reinvent myself several times in my life. M likes to say I grew up in "leave it to beaver's" household. In some ways I did. When I was small both my parents worked, but my mother quit her job and took care of me and the house and my brother by around the time I started school. My parents were married more than 52 yrs when my dad died. So yeah, I was fortunate.
It didn't stop me from wanting to get out and on my own as soon as I could. I couldn't wait to leave home, to leave the small town and everything behind. I dropped out of college to get married at 18. I followed my husband overseas where my daughter was born. We had a very rocky relationship. Abusive. I thought many times about leaving and heading back home, but I was too proud. So I stuck it out. While overseas, I managed to snag a good job with good pay, as a graphic designer I liked what I was doing. Then I found out I was pregnant. We came back to the states soon after J was born. I was trying to figure out if we could make things work. What the future was going to be. If I had the guts to leave and strike out on my own again, this time with a baby. I didn't have to make a choice. One night the police called to let me know my husband had been picked up. He was trying to arrange a hit on me for the insurance. Didn't much care what happened to our daughter, then decided she was worth more to him alive, due to being able to stay in on post housing and out of the barracks. So my choice was made, and I again had to start over. Thankfully my family welcomed me and my daughter til we got back on our feet. I went back to college and managed to graduate with honors. I obtained two degrees, one in accounting and the other in computers. During the final years in college I worked at a local accounting firm, and went there full time and become a CPA after graduation. I worked hard, raised my daughter and life was good.
After another 7 yrs or so, I guess the 7 yr itch struck, and I also fell for someone who lived 1000 miles away. I also felt stifled in the small town, in the bible belt where I was raised. My lifestyle was not that welcomed there. I met someone online, what started as a friendship, chatting online, exchanging emails and phone calls, and long letters, even trips back and forth across the country turned into a relationship. So I packed up me & my daughter and we moved. Once again, my choice in a relationship continued to be lacking, so that didnt last. M tells me, that it was a necessary step, one that brought me here to meet her. Perhaps. I can't argue with that.
M & I have been together almost 10 yrs now. Good years. When I moved across country 15 yrs ago, I reinvented myself again. I gave up the accounting which I had come to find tedious and focused on the computers and then branched out into networking and then VOIP. Most of the time it is work I enjoy.
Whatever happens going forward, I'm not afraid of the future. It will all end up ok. I am a believer in good karma if nothing else.
I believe that I still have a long productive road ahead, of work, life, etc. There are a lot things I haven't done yet that I want to do. So, I am stubborn enough, determined enough, to want to do them. Right now, M & I are working towards getting healthier, eating better, getting more physically fit, losing some of the excess weight we have both put on over the past few years. I get frustrated with things that seem to keep jumping in as road blocks - things like breaking my ankle, finding out I have MS, etc. But I'm no quitter.
I have had to learn to reinvent myself several times in my life. M likes to say I grew up in "leave it to beaver's" household. In some ways I did. When I was small both my parents worked, but my mother quit her job and took care of me and the house and my brother by around the time I started school. My parents were married more than 52 yrs when my dad died. So yeah, I was fortunate.
It didn't stop me from wanting to get out and on my own as soon as I could. I couldn't wait to leave home, to leave the small town and everything behind. I dropped out of college to get married at 18. I followed my husband overseas where my daughter was born. We had a very rocky relationship. Abusive. I thought many times about leaving and heading back home, but I was too proud. So I stuck it out. While overseas, I managed to snag a good job with good pay, as a graphic designer I liked what I was doing. Then I found out I was pregnant. We came back to the states soon after J was born. I was trying to figure out if we could make things work. What the future was going to be. If I had the guts to leave and strike out on my own again, this time with a baby. I didn't have to make a choice. One night the police called to let me know my husband had been picked up. He was trying to arrange a hit on me for the insurance. Didn't much care what happened to our daughter, then decided she was worth more to him alive, due to being able to stay in on post housing and out of the barracks. So my choice was made, and I again had to start over. Thankfully my family welcomed me and my daughter til we got back on our feet. I went back to college and managed to graduate with honors. I obtained two degrees, one in accounting and the other in computers. During the final years in college I worked at a local accounting firm, and went there full time and become a CPA after graduation. I worked hard, raised my daughter and life was good.
After another 7 yrs or so, I guess the 7 yr itch struck, and I also fell for someone who lived 1000 miles away. I also felt stifled in the small town, in the bible belt where I was raised. My lifestyle was not that welcomed there. I met someone online, what started as a friendship, chatting online, exchanging emails and phone calls, and long letters, even trips back and forth across the country turned into a relationship. So I packed up me & my daughter and we moved. Once again, my choice in a relationship continued to be lacking, so that didnt last. M tells me, that it was a necessary step, one that brought me here to meet her. Perhaps. I can't argue with that.
M & I have been together almost 10 yrs now. Good years. When I moved across country 15 yrs ago, I reinvented myself again. I gave up the accounting which I had come to find tedious and focused on the computers and then branched out into networking and then VOIP. Most of the time it is work I enjoy.
Whatever happens going forward, I'm not afraid of the future. It will all end up ok. I am a believer in good karma if nothing else.
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