Friday, February 18, 2011

Art where for art tho? what happened?

My first real career was in art. ...

To continue my earlier post regarding going nowhere, The next thing I was good at was art. I could draw. I started college as an art major.  I was good at drawing/painting. I was also interested in computers but this was before PC's existed so it was a different world. I wanted to find out how to get involved in a career doing some sort of computer animation. My college had no clue what to do with me, but for a while I was a dual major Art & Computer Science. yeah OK whatever. It didn't really mean anything back then.

So I thought I really liked art better than the computer science.  Especially the science bit. To my dad's horror (he was a biology professor) I wasn't that good at science, and I really wasn't that interested in learning Latin names for everything, and physics kicked my butt.  Strange because I aced calculus without trying... but I digress. I was good, no great at art. However, I almost flunked out of a life drawing class because my drawings were too realistic. I got a D in the class.  My teacher said that photo realism was out, and that I needed to learn to be more abstract.  Not sure what that has to do with life drawing, but it was a life lesson. LOL.
Not long after that I fell in love. as M would say now, I was young and dumb. He was in the military and got orders for Germany. So obviously, young love's response was that oh no, we can't be separated for a year or so, so our answer was that we must hurry and marry and then I can go along.  Well, the marriage didn't last, told you I was young and dumb. But I won't complain too much about it. I had an incredible opportunity and experience getting to see West Germany, parts of Europe, and my daughter was born over there.  Other thing I did over there was that I got a job as a head of a graphics art department for an army club system. I designed flyers and posters and put out a monthly magazine. I got to be an artist. The job required a college degree that I didn't have. But I was the most qualified applicant. At least I had gone to college, and they liked my portfolio.  I also did free lance painting - commission work.  I painted several murals around town, in some of the barracks. Big huge murals on walls. Also did some smaller framed commission work. Even won an award from the army divisional commander. So my first real career was as an Artist (luckily for me, it paid well, so I was not a starving artist either).

I don't know what happened to the artist me. I haven't touched a paint brush (house painting doesn't count). I haven't picked up a charcoal pencil or done a pen and ink.  My favorite mediums were pen & ink and colored charcoals, and a mix of the two. But I haven't drawn anything in years. The artist me got lost over the years much like the musician me. But I don't have the excuse that I have when I say I can't make music if I wanted. I could still draw or paint if I really wanted. So what happened? Sometimes I think that aspect of myself is somehow tied to much with who I was back then. I don't want to go back and revisit that time. I have some of my old drawings and paintings. For the most part they are stored away. I've thought of getting them out. But then that always leads to questions. Did you do these? Really? oh but you have so much talent... why aren't you doing something with it? why did you stop? And I don't have those answers. I don't know why I stopped. And I don't know what to say.


Doug B said...

That's kinda odd that the art you would just die like that. My art is my guitar, and I could never stay away from her for long. Or at least I don't see how I could. Sometimes it's the first thing I reach for of a morning.

Diane J Standiford said...

Interesting. My first lover was into horses, showing them, suddenly she dropped all that as she suddenly dropped me---I have never understood why. Her world was horses.
I have pretty much always been an actress and writer. Let me know if you ever get the answer.

MS Day Dreamer said...

I have no answers. But I can truly say that I haven't really picked up a pen or pencil to draw a picture for at least 25 or so years.
I have a couple theories. But can't say for sure why the muse(?) left.

Doug - I still have music. I listen and sing. I can't really play the guitar or banjo as I used to, but that is more of a hand coordination thing. I can play in my head.

But the drawing and creating. I could probably still draw. In fact I know that I can. But have nothing to create. There is a difference. I can imitate, but I can't create. I guess in a way it is sort of like writers block.

Music isn't the same in that I just played music that someone else had already written/created.